Socializing Your Child With A Balanced System

Submitted by copitek

Finding a balance of alone time and group activities is crucial to socializing your child. Between the two, you will be able to raise a balanced child and assist them with growing into mature and social individuals. Although it can be a difficult process, you have complete control over the effects that you see.

Typically you will find that children prefer individual contact when they are younger and move on to group interactions as they age. Because of this, it is up to you to make sure that your child gets a balance of group and individual contact.

From the moment your child is born until they go off to pre-school and elementary school children tend to prefer personal contact. This is fine because you want to maintain a close and healthy relationship with your child. But it is vital that you socialize your child during this phase. If you keep them confined and do not push them to meet and interact with others, they will grow up to be shy and not outgoing.

This is not to say that being shy is a negative characteristic. But it is much healthier to have a balance between the two kinds of interactions. What you can do is set up a play time for your child to go and play with other children or a time for other kids to come over. Sometimes your child will be glued to you because of the need for personal contact. In this instance it is fine for you to stay and play with your child as long as you include another child as well.

The goal is to get your child to socialize with others their age. Without giving them the opportunity to interact with their peers, they will know no better than to stay within themselves. Give them opportunities to play at the playground or meet and play with other children their age.

As mentioned above, the older children get the less they will want to hang out with you. Obviously you still want to see them interact and have fun with their peers. But part of socializing your child includes hanging out with them yourself. Because of this, it becomes more important for you to try and find alone time with your child as they age and become teenagers and go off to school.

This can be done by setting up a time where you can go fishing with them, play basketball, or just sit down and talk about what is going on. If you socialize in groups with your children at a younger age, this will be easy to interact later down the road. Try not to force the situation, but attempt to set up quality individual time with your children.

Socializing your child is not an easy process and does take a great deal of time. But it can help your child turn into a healthy and mature person. The key is to help your child find a balance between individual contact and group settings.

Source: ArticleTrader.com

Causes of Bed Wetting: Eat, Drink, and Wet the Bed

by: Sue LaPointe



Well, we're on a roll with causes of bed wetting theories. Here's one that seems to make sense. I'm still pretty much sold on the idea that it's a hereditary issue - but it seems like if there are other causes of bed wetting, they may be more controllable. If it's just heredity, you kind of have to wait it out until your child reaches the pre-set magical age of dryness. By nature not especially patient, the idea of waiting it out doesn't appeal to me.

So, here's what I've learned about the food and drink leading to bedwetting theory.

Chocolate

Oh no! Say it isn't so! Well, actually it's not necessarily the chocolate; it's the caffeine in chocolate that may cause bed wetting. What does caffeine do? It stimulates the body, including the bladder. So that evening cup of cocoa or slice of chocolate cake may be a problem. (Gosh, now I'm craving chocolate!)

Soda

Bubbles, bubbles, bubbles. Carbonation is rumored to do strange things to immature bladders. Actually, for any adults who drink soda, you know first-hand that a can of Coke is a ticket to the restroom. It's an effect that's compounded by caffeine - and the sugar's probably not helping matters either.

Oranges and Grapefruits

OK, if you've actually got a child who will eat grapefruit, I'd like to hear about it! But oranges are another story. I get a strange reaction when I eat oranges (and raw cranberries for some reason) - my face gets hot and I feel kind of funky. So, I'm assuming it's possible to be allergic to citrus. The citric acid is the most likely culprit. Try cutting back on the orange juice and citrus in your child's diet to see what happens.

Spicy Stuff

There are some spices out there that could probably be rated pharmaceutical grade. Think of the effect Chinese mustard has on your nose! No doubt some of these spices have an equivalent effect on the bladder. Salsa, Asian food, and other hot, hot, hot foods may be contributing to the bedwetting problem.

Food Allergies

I've heard of people whose children are allergic to everything from eggs to wheat, and have to say that dealing with bedwetting is nothing compared to the trouble they have to go through just to feed their children. Couple a serious food allergy with bedwetting, and it's enough to make you want to retreat to the bath tub for the next ten years! Some allergies cause bladder spasms - which of course, means a bedwetting accident. It's not just food, either. Some people are really sensitive to preservatives, dyes, and other additives. It doesn't seem that the only effect of a food allergy would be bedwetting, though. So don't throw out all your groceries just yet. But if your child has multiple challenges, it's something to consider. You may have to shop around for an allergist - so be prepared.

So what do you do if you discover your child's bedwetting problem is caused by a food sensitivity? It's not like being allergic to a cat - get some shots or send Fluffy to live with Grandma. You'll have to enroll your child's compliance on this (so what else is new?). Get your child to see the value, the what's-in-it-for-me of staying away from what may be a favorite food. Dry nights are pretty valuable - and your child may come to see the tradeoff as worthwhile. The sensitivity may be temporary, too - and that should help.

After all, just the thought of never being able to eat chocolate is cruel and unusual punishment.

Inspire your child

It is important that parents raise their children to be successful in life, as well as to be good people.

WHEN asked what they want for their children, most parents say that they want them to be happy. This sounds simple but, sadly, many children who are indulged by their parents are not happy. They have to live up to their parents’ expectations, with little thought for their own dreams.

Their parents want them to be independent and to stay tuned to their expectations. Most parents work hard at getting children to do what they want them to. It is not surprising, therefore, that many children find learning a chore and feel uninspired.

Having good grades and staying at the top of the class are two common objectives that children state, when asked what they want in life. While some parents and teachers believe that there is more to life than just school, children are not convinced. They dare not be different from others. They want what others want. The problem does not lie with the other children. It is their parents who groom them for the rat race – to do well in their studies and collect paper qualifications.

Inspiring children goes beyond teaching them. Learning should be a process. We only enjoy learning when it is fun. Unfortunately, many people do not have positive learning moments in school. Instead, they recall the pressure of exams and of having to answer the teacher’s questions correctly, and handing up homework on time. However, some have good memories of a particular teacher who put in the extra effort to make lessons interesting.

Does your child open his books only during exam time? Then it is time for a change.
He must have passions in life, even if he is as young as eight. He ought to have a role model – someone who inspires him to contribute to society and do good. It is important that parents raise their children to be successful in life, as well as to be good people. Parents are their children’s role models. For children to be convinced that their parents are good role models, the adults have to be genuine in their thoughts, values, feelings and actions. Children can see through feigned behaviour. They become disappointed when they realise that their parents don’t do what they tell their children to do.

Instead of yelling and shouting at or scolding children for not doing what they should do, parents should inspire their children to do better by creating an environment of support in which children can develop their own ideas, take chances and express their opinions and feelings. Most of all, children should feel confident so that they develop into strong individuals. Parents need to know what their children understand and are interested in. When conversing with a child the parent should also listen to what the child has to say. Children have ideas and opinions that are worth listening to. They need to be encouraged to listen to their hearts and trust their inner voices.

Talk to your children about your values and beliefs, and how they help you to overcome obstacles and face challenges in life. Tell them about the people who inspire you. Your children’s minds will be freed from the limitations they think they have. Once children dare to take on challenges, to be different and to go the extra mile, they will find success in all that they set their minds on.

Parents often feel it is necessary to tell children what to do and what not to do, such as not taking drugs or having pre-marital sex. Parents always remind children of how many mistakes they have made and remind them not to repeat those misdeeds. Yet, they hardly speak of things that appeal to the child’s good nature. Many children do not know they are good.

Most parents tend to fill their children’s minds with doubts. They fail to help them understand that they can be their own teachers, that they are not just learners. Children are inquisitive and not lazy. They want to try things out rather than wait to be told what to do. They listen attentively to the stories that adults tell them so that they can look forward to the future, having understood what happened in the past.

If children’s minds are packed with positive ideas and inspiring stories, they will be able to do their own problem-solving. Adults forget that the human mind is more versatile than anything else in the world. With an inspired mind, the child will grow confidently, knowing that “the sky’s the limit” and anything is possible.

CHILDWISE By RUTH LIEW

source: The Star,Thursday July 12, 2007